Gyspies, Cramps and Fleas

06/11/08

The following are two blogs I wrote a couple weeks ago. Instead of posting them separately, I just combined them. Gave me an excuse for a catchy title too.

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I've not blogged in a while… things have been absolutely crazy around here. I wish I could say it's cause we're super motivated right now and we've been going to the gym every day religiously for the last 5 months… or maybe we've been Spring cleaning and our house is nearly spotless and clutter-free… or we've been working in our yard and it now rivals the beauty and serenity of a perfect English garden… however, you all know me well enough to know that it's actually none of those things. Hahaha, who am I kidding, right? I know, I know, you knew it was a lie as soon as I mentioned going to the gym, LOL.

Seriously, we've all been sick. Lame reason I know, but there it is. It seems that for the last few months, one or another of us has been sick… interspersed, of course, with my horrible month visitor.
The periods that are nearly unbearable… on a scale of 1-10; with 10 being childbirth (the worst pain I've personally ever felt), I'd have to say they're a solid 7. Now, before you start telling me to try this or that remedy, just know that short of standing naked in a barrel full of eels under a full moon while a three-toed gypsy sings folk songs, I've tried just about everything the internet says to do. Double-doses of Lortab are just about the only thing that brings any relief. A hysterectomy would work too, but I'm just not quite ready to take that particular dive. Although, if anyone knows any three-toed gypsies… I have a barrel...

Anyway, the kids have been sick with one thing or another for several weeks now. If it's not one kid, it's the other. Sniffles, stomach flu, fevers, ear aches, snotty noses, sore throats, etc... poor little guys have had it all.

Dan only got sick once, thank God. If it had been more than just that one week, I think I'd go live with the aforementioned gypsy. He's worse than both kids and the cat put together when he gets sick. I'd rather be violently ill with some horrible illness than for him to have sniffles. I only have so much mercy to go around and sniffles just aren't very mercy-worthy. Show me fevers, diarrhea and vomiting, and I'll go a little easier on ya; but Florence Nightingale, I'm not.

I have girlfriends who are begging to get together, but I simply cannot bring myself to infect them with whatever my kids have. Considering one friend has 5 kids and when they get sick, it's a major thing, I can't do that to her. Same girlfriend, btw, who moved into a new house almost 5 months(!) ago and I haven't been to see her yet. It's a very good thing she understands. I have another friend who wants to get together for lunch, and yet another that I haven't seen since before Christmas. Christmas, people! Something's got to give!

On the upside, I've gotten to know each and every nurse at the doctor's office. On the downside, the money spent on gas alone travelling the 74 mile round-trip to and from her office could fund a small country. Oh well, that's what I get for choosing a holistic pediatrician. I love her office… just didn't think I'd be seeing her quite as often as we have been lately.

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It's amazing to me what the power of suggestion can do for someone. Example-Our dem... er, uhm, cat, Lucy, is now an indoor/outdoor cat. Indoor to sleep and eat, outdoor for everything else. She's much happier this way, as are we. However, if I don't put flea medicine on her every month, she starts getting fleas and D swears she's bringing them into the house. It's a curious thing, really, since I have yet to feel or see any fleas on me. We'll be watching a movie and he'll suddenly swat at something on his shin and ask me to look and see if I find a flea. I've yet to find one. Argument for hallucinations? Maybe.

*breaks into song* "There ain't no bugs on me! There ain't no bugs on me! There may be bugs on some of you mugs, but there ain't no bugs on me!"

Sorry... just had to get that out of my system.