Is there a map to Translation or will I always be lost in it?

11/30/07
Did you know that when you become a parent, you learn words that never existed in your vocabulary before you had children? Let me give you a few examples:

Roll-a-by: a song you sing over and over as the kids are trying to go to sleep.

Otice: As in, "Hey mom, did you 'otice the cool drawing I put on your mirra with whipstick?

Mirra: That silver thing you look in to put your Ascara on.

Whipstick: Colored waxy stuff that goes on your lips. When they refer to this they usually mean my favorite one, smeared over a small face or mirra. Note- It's really difficult to completely remove it from said mirra without leaving streaks.

Ascara: Black, brown or blue stuff ladies (and some men) use to color their eyelashes. Kids use it to color their teddy bear's eyelashes and to place small fingerprints on pale yellow walls.

Jippy: Something done in a hurry. As in, "I'll get it done in a Jippy!" Also, the condition in which the bottoms of your feet are covered in black dirt: Jippy-Feet.

Putah: A machine that children know just enough about to do some real damage. When you have 2 children, each will only want the Putah the other is on.

Weepstah: A kid's hand-held game console. Reference to parents contemplating a Weepstah- get one for each kid. They WILL fight over it.

Ide: To conceal something, like one's body. You know, like 'Ide & go seek.

Pee-whoa: soft, squashy cushion you rest your head on at night. My kids must have their dinosaur pee-whoas or they can't sleep.

Peeckle: a cucumber that's been soaked in vinegar till it's sour. Christopher loves peeckles on his Kwystals, Daniel likes them plain.

Kwystals: small, square burgers that my kids can eat by the bag full.

Shanwish: two slices of bread with stuff between them. Crisper likes Jehwy shanwishes.

Jehwy: sugar, pectin and fruit cooked to a jelly-like consistency. It's extremely sticky and makes small children's hair stand straight up when they rub their hands in it.

Kwarian: the place where the fish lives.

Woo-see: a small, mean, gray cat. (at my house)

Weezuwd: small green or brown critters with 4 legs and a tail. I hung them from my ears when I was a kid. My kids run screaming when Woo-see catches one and brings it into the house.

Ina-mims: multi-colored candies with chocolate and/or peanuts, crispies, peanut butter, almonds, etc. in the middle of them. If you lick them, the candy coating on the outside serves as a nice dye for white clothes.

Wah-wee: a ball of hard candy on a stick. As in, "What did you eat for breakfast? I ate a wah-wee pop, Mom!"

Chockit: a mixture of milk, cocoa, sugar and other ingredients. Several pieces contain enough sugar to keep a 35-pound child rushing on a sugar-buzz for about 2 hours.

Bagaries: used to make stuff work. If you've got a Weepstah, make sure you have replacement Bagaries for it or you'll be making a trip to Tahgit to stop the fussing.

Tahgit: Rival to Wal-Mart with a big red bullseye as it's logo. Kids go nuts in Tahgit when you reach the toy aisle.

Whoa's: Home-improvement store rival to Home Depot. Be careful in this store, it makes kids run around picking up screws and other small items and pocket them without paying for them.

Pubwix: a supermarket that has car-buggies. Do not even think about going in to Pubwix with your kids if you can't find an available car-buggy. The nice ladies in the bakery will also give your kids a cookie if they say pweaze.

Pweaze: to ask nicely. Kids often forget to use this word.

Chicken-fway: fast-food chain restaurant. Your kids will beg to stop there for their waffle fries.

Ah Donald's: another fast-food chain restaurant. 6 piece McNugget Hap-Meal with a Fwite for a boy, please!

Gurwl: a female. "Not the gurwl's Hap-Meal, Mom! I a boy!"

Fwite: lemon-lime soda with lots of sugar.

Wocked!: As in, "I can't open it Mom! It's wocked!" Used especially when mom wocks the bathroom door and expects a few moments of privacy.

Buttshot: the name my 5 year-old thought he heard at the horse ranch on his class field trip. (The horse's name was Buckshot)

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Of course, I've heard that last word. I just threw it in the mix because I thought it was pretty funny.

Hmm... I will be thinking of a few more words that need translation if you visit our house. I'll post them later.