Billy Joel and the Aisle Nazi

02/09/07
I just went to the Billy Joel concert in Jacksonville on Wednesday night, and let me tell ya, it was fantastic! Absolutely the best concert I've ever been to, and I've been to several.

I've only been to handful, though, where there was everyone from teenagers to retirees in attendance. If memory serves, Bela Fleck was the only other one that had such a diverse group of people. Just goes to show that Billy Joel is truly a remarkable artist.

He started by coming up out of the middle of the stage on a rotating dais playing his piano to "Angry Young Man." Then progressed from there. When he paused to banter with the crowd, he commented, "Thanks to you up there for buying the shitty seats." Don't think I've ever heard a performer say that. Personally, we had really great seats… we were in the 21st row in the first two seats. While we weren't within spittle range, we could clearly see everything

Just out of curiosity, do any of you know where on earth they find those crowd-control guys who think they've got to act like Nazis? You know the ones… the guys who have that ridiculously intimidating expression on their faces. As if to say, "I've been constipated for 3 weeks, and I'm working on a 4th, do you REALLY want to cross me?" Perhaps they scan the nerdy-kid list for guys who were stuffed into their lockers with their wedgies pulled up over their heads or maybe they check out the police-academy reject list, but these guys are a joke. The man I am referring to became known to row 20, 21 and 22 as the "Aisle Nazi." He was completely manic about us staying in our rows. He didn't make us sit down too, but I got the sneaking suspicion that he would have had he not known that we would have throttled him over it. Let me give you an example of the Third Reich: There was a trash can over near where he was sitting, and I saw him reprimand a man for getting out of his seat to throw away a cup! One shorter lady stood out in the aisle to get a better view of the stage, and this guy actually got up and got into her line of sight after she took one photo! I saw another lady move out into the aisle to allow someone else to get into her row and he stood up ready to make her get back into her seat. Talk about anal! Geesh! I was almost afraid to go pee!

Anyway, back to the concert… he performed mostly hit songs that you'd recognize, as well as some "B-side" lesser-known-except-to-BIG-fans songs. If you've got the original "Turnstiles" album or "Piano Man," you'd recognize them. But if you've got the "Greatest Hits" album, then you might not.

He even threw in "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC. A guy named Chainsaw came out and sang it, with B.J. on the electric guitar. The people around Dan's and my age jumped up and started screaming and singing along, while the older bunch just looked at each other puzzled with that "WTF is THIS?!" look on their faces.

He finished with "Piano Man" (what else?) and the entire crowd joined in. He didn't bother to sing the chorus; he just let the crowd sing it. One thing I thought was slightly bizarre, although a typical sign of the times, was that old soft, warm yellow glow of a lighter being held up that crowds have been doing since before Lynyrd Skynyrd, has officially been replaced with a slightly cold, but still brilliant, hue of blue from an open cell phone. No more lighters, I suppose. Perhaps they've been doing it for a while now (it's been a while since I've been to a rock concert) but I found it amusing.

In all, it was one hell of a performance. He was funny and entertaining and if he were going to be in Jacksonville again tonight, I'd go back down there and see him again. Even if I was hoarse for 2 days due to screaming my head off during "We Didn't Start the Fire" and "Highway to Hell." If you ever get the chance to see him perform, I'd highly recommend it. It's well worth the money, even if you do get stuck in the "shitty seats."