Underoos are sounding better and better

11/23/07
OK. I just got home from doing a little Christmas shopping at Target, and I find myself a tad irritated. I cannot find much of anything that seems remotely interesting for my children for Christmas. If it's interesting, they've probably already got it. My father-in-law suggested a chemistry set for my oldest. For reference to why this is a terrible idea, please see my previous blog Curiosity Can Be Such a Messy Thing. Of course, this idea came from the same man who once burned his eyebrows off with a similar chemistry set so I'm not entirely sure why he even suggested it.

I think... no, I know the problem is that I've over-bought toys for them over the years. All of the toys that I had when I was a kid and all of the ones I think they simply MUST have, I've purchased for them. It didn't matter if it was age-appropriate. If they no longer make it, I've scoured eBay till I found it for my kids. The result, of course, is that I think Daniel got his first Etch-A-Sketch when he was about 6 months old. Not to mention all the vintage Little People toys of which he is now the proud owner. I'll take 'Obsessed' please, Alex, for $1,000.

And I've never gotten rid of anything. I tend to keep just about everything. I claim I am saving it for my brother's kids. But if he actually has any children before some of these go out of style, I'll eat my umbrella. The big rainbow-striped one. Hell, I am closer to having another baby this very minute (and my tubes are tied) than he is of having children before my garage is completely filled with toys.

Ok, I admit it... my kids have entirely too many toys. They really do and I know this. I know I need to weed through them all and give them to children who would love them. I just haven't had the time nor the inclination lately. It seems like a monumental task that I'd just as soon put off. Procrastinators of the world, UNITE! Tomorrow!

Anyway, I found myself walking through Target looking at toys that fell into 4 categories: 1) They've already got it 2) They've got something very similar 3) It's not age/gender appropriate 4) There is no way in hell they're getting it.

In order to fall into that last category, it must be too loud, extremely messy, or have a bazillion teeny pieces to get sucked into my vacuum or get stepped on in the middle of the night. Example- Fingerpaint, drum sets, LightBrite, Battleship, etc.

So what to do? I know of at least 3 things that they want. Not 3 each... 3 items. 1 that Christopher wants, and 2 that Daniel wants. That's it. I know they're each getting cool new Underoos with Superman or Spiderman on them... but just how many pairs of underwear can I get them? Besides, underwear is just one of those gifts that you get and think, "OMG, I got &%$* underwear for Christmas! " I do anyway. Somehow, I am reminded of Charlie Brown where they all Trick or Treat and Charlie Brown keeps getting rocks instead of candy. "I got a candy apple! I got a popcorn ball! I got 50 cents! /groans I got a rock."

Please don't tell me to get them something like a certificate for a tree in the middle of some rain forest that they'll never see. Or their very own 12-inch-square bit of the moon. First of all, it's just not my thing... second, how on Earth would I explain to my 3-year-old that he just got his very own tree that he can't even pee on? I'm sure that'd go over as well as if I gave my 5-year-old an empty box and told him it was an air guitar. I'm just not feeling it, know what I mean?

I know this is a pickle that I've created. I'm just not sure how to get out of it. What's worse is everyone who normally buys them gifts is asking me what to get them. I'm like, "Uhm, I don't even know what Santa is bringing them so I can't help ya there." I am beginning to wish that I could simply wrap up stuff that we've already given them and regift it. If they didn't have such fantastic memories, I might could pull that off.

Daniel would absolutely know, though. He remembers everything. And I do mean everything. Some of my earliest unclouded memories of childhood begin around 4-ish for me. Anything before that is basically blurs or images of something that may or may not have happened. Every now and then Daniel will say something like, "Hey Mom, do you remember going Splash Mountain at Disney when I was 3 and you were wearing the red shirt and I was wearing my blue Crocs and we got the video camera wet and then we looked at the pictures and Daddy was making a silly face?" Of course, I remember it once he jogs my memory. But I can hardly believe that he actually recalls things like that with such clarity. So I am positive that he'd recall what Santa brought him last year with complete accuracy. Even though I know he's got a game or two that are still shrink-wrapped.

Soooo... Anyone got any ideas? Anyone know of any cool 3- and 5-year-old appropriate toys that my kids might not have?